incandescentcataclysm:

end0skeletal:

Nevermind all the buzz about Tide pods, get ready for…ISOPODS!

Here’s one for you to enjoy:

Pretty nice, right? I agree. Let’s learn about them!

Isopoda is an order of crustaceans that includes woodlice and their relatives. These are woodlice, often called roly-polies or potato bugs:

Woodlice mostly feed on dead plant material, and they are usually active at night, so we have a lot in common. Several centuries ago when I was in high school, we raised them in science class. They are good, friendly fellows. Please don’t kill them.

Isopods can also live in water! Wow!

There are almost 20 species of giant isopod in the genus Bathynomus. They are abundant in the cold, deep waters of the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans and can be as long as 30 inches. Holy cow. That’s bigger than my dog.

They may look large and scary, but they are mostly opportunistic scavengers, feeding on dead whales, fish, and squid, and occasionally slow-moving live animals like sea cucumbers and sponges.

Food is scarce in the deep ocean, and giant isopods have adapted to long periods of famine; in captivity, they’ve been known to go five years without eating. I guess if I had to eat soggy dead whale blubber, I’d wait five years, too.

One species, Cymothoa exigua, is known as the tongue-eating louse. Just like Tide pods, I wouldn’t recommend putting these into your mouth. It’s just as horrifying as it sounds. Here, have this photo for your nightmares:

The tongue-eating louse is a parasitic isopod that enters a fish’s mouth through the gills, attaches itself to the tongue and severs the blood vessels there. The tongue eventually falls off and the isopod functionally acts as the fish’s new tongue, all the while sucking its sweet, delicious fish blood.

It appears that the parasite does not cause much other damage to the host fish, but I suspect any research scientists failed to ask the fish how they felt about it. I’m damaged just having seen the photos.

Anyway, there are over 10,000 species of isopod worldwide, so I’ll wrap this post up by sharing just a few more colorful varieties. 

The clown isopod:

The blue woodlouse:

And my personal favorite, the spiky yellow woodlouse:

Thank you for reading about isopods! I hope you now consider them friends. Even the tongue-eating ones, who make some very questionable life choices. But who are we to judge, you know? Anyway, have a great day.

Speaking of, everyone should watch the movie The Bay, it’s a great isopod documentary